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About Naples

Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I rush over to the market, and wow, it’s packed! Fresh produce everywhere, and the smell? Mmm, divine. I spot Marco by a stall selling cheese. He’s practically drooling. “You gotta try this!” he says, shoving a piece of cheese in my mouth. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a cheese tester!” But it’s so good.

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